With the help of acceptance....
I had a moment just like this the other day...
Completely lost in ‘my ideals’, my ‘should be’s’ and ‘why isn’t’s’ and ‘it’s not meant to be’s’...the list was endless.
Yes, not only had I collided into one of my rocks, but I suddenly found myself actually scampering up to the top as fast as I could ready to shout ‘my rights’ for all that I believed true.
Luckily for all.... sleep is a wonderful healer. After I woke, I began my usual morning ritual of tea making as I washed the dishes. Throughout the next 20 mins of scouring scrambled egg off the bottom of a stainless steel pot, not one of my favourite past times, I found myself in a kind of flux; between sliding down my rock - letting go, then digging my heels into the side of the rock like climbers pegs.
As I was in full pro climber mode, I stopped a second and wondered, what if I just accept this moment right now just as it is, literally as I see it, be here right now, with nothing else other than what is in front of me? Which was me, the sink and the blessed egg covered pot.
Just as each justification popped in and I was hammering in the pegs, I was able to just stop and be in the silence which enabled me to choose. I chose to slide down each time letting go a little more.
It took a while, quite possibly as long as it took to scrap the stuck egg off the bottom of the pan, which was quite ironic. Once I freed the egg, I freed myself. The egg got me out of my own eggie!
In the past I would have stayed up there in my own justified righteousness (eek what an admission!) but this time I just chose, without trying to rehash what had happened, without trying to make it right and without punishment.
Instead I just chose to slide down the rock until I got to the bottom and landed into the stream of life again.